1. You’re overly prideful about your side of town
East or West? Does it even matter? Yes, it surely does. It’s no secret the beef exists, and that Cleveland would not be the same without it. Starting with The Bridge War of 1836, one does not cross the Cuyahoga River without thinking about which part of town you’re entering. The rivalry runs deep, and real Clevelanders will take their pride of their side of the city to the grave.
2. Trips to the bar are impromptu high school reunions
The odds are that you’ve pulled up a bar stool to catch the Indians game and found yourself amongst past classmates. Now, whether you’re happy to see these people or not is a different story.
3. You have never called it Progressive Field and you will make sure your kids will always refer to it as “The Jake”
This “Progressive Field” nonsense has gone on long enough. Growing up going to Browns games you learned they can take our wins, our playoff aspirations, but never the name of our stadium!
4. Some of your best memories were made on a roller coaster at Cedar Point
When people ask you what there is to do in Cleveland, you are excited to inform them about your world-class theme park. You have probably been reminiscent about summers spent at Cedar Point, but the Roller Coaster Capital of the World has only gotten better. Remember when Millenium Force, a legend in its own right, was the best ride in the park? What a time to be alive!
5. You and your friends once ditched work for St. Patrick’s Day and pretended that you were Irish
The St. Patrick’s Day Parade is the rowdiest annual event in Cleveland, and if you never cut class or called in sick to work, the odds are that you’re some sort of overachiever.
6. People ask you about LeBron James, and you say you have loved him the entire time – because it’s LeBron.
The Decision was tough on all of us, and we may have had some strong opinions on King James that might not have been so favorable, but we will never tell you that. All Clevelanders have wholeheartedly loved and supported Ohio’s very own throughout his entire career (just not during his sabbatical in Miami).
7. It’s normal to keep your Christmas lights up long after New Year’s Day
Judgments and glares are usually what come with your neighbor keeping their Christmas lights up after the holiday season. Not in Cleveland. And why not keep them up, it seems like it’s a Winter Wonderland most of the year anyways!
8. Saturdays are going to have the best football
Sundays, not so much. Ohio State is having another dominant season. But let’s celebrate the Buckeyes, and not remember that the last quarterback to win for the Browns was Johnny Manziel.
9. You have an uncle who either worked in the steel or automobile industry
Odds are you have a direct family member, neighbor, or friend who clocked in and out of the same factory until the day he retired. Cleveland is rightfully proud of its humble blue collar roots, and that will never change.
10. Anything above 30 degrees is flip flops and t-shirt weather
Clevelanders are no stranger to the cold, and that is an understatement. They’ll pounce on any opportunity to soak up some rays and leave the winter coat behind.
11. Going to Kelleys Island or Put-in-Bay was your paradise getaway
Spring break plans? Bahamas or Hawaii, maybe? Why hop on a plane when there is a tropical paradise in Cleveland’s own backyard! It’s the summer vacation on your calendar that you can’t control your excitement for.
12. The Cavaliers Championship Parade was a dream come true
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s … finally over! The drought, the jokes, the reputation–it has come to an end. The Cavaliers brought professional sports glory back to Cleveland and the entire city went nuts. For years to come this historic feat will be a highlight for many.
13. Out-of-towners will say you have an accent and you claim they’re crazy
Visitors will tell you that you have an accent, but you know that that’s ludicrous and everyone sounds like this. You will probably have to agree to disagree, but you know that it is the outsider who has the accent.
14. You drink pop at a cookout
There is certain slang that anyone growing up in Cleveland accepts as their own. Good luck finding ‘soda’ at the ‘barbeque’, because all we have is pop at the cookout. Even Cincinnatians know better.
15. Everyone bashes Cleveland but only real Clevelanders are allowed talk the trash
People think that they can say whatever they want about our great city, and get away with it. But remind them that they should eat their words, because only Clevelanders have the right to rag on Cleveland.